THE ROAD TO SELF DISCOVERY

This is me in all my greatness. I am an aquarius which means I am a THINKER! Oh lordy do I think. I think about everything and anything! Well, NOW I am on this ROAD TO SELF DISCOVERY! I am 26 years old and just got off of the cyclone! Here is some background on Christina with A K :) In September 2009, the love of my life decided to break up with me because our relationship had hit a downward spiral for some time. Although one of the worst experiences of my life it was also manifested an empowering journey. I had already begun my journey about a year before but it didn't really kick into gear until this tragic moment in my life.
THE LOVE OF MY LIFE is CHRIS RIVERA. Ayyyyy Chris - we are like two souls that seem to find each other in each lifetime. He is a great teacher for me as he works my nerves like no other could. Which says a lot about me, I have yet to MASTER MYSELF!! Chris is like the thorn to my rose, the scent to my perfume, the yin to my yang! I will always and forever LOVE HIM! (as the tears flow down my face). Moving ahead because I can stick on that topic for - EVER.... These past few years I have been pretty hectic I must say. Many people that were around in my life like my ex best friend couldn't even deal with me anymore, couldn't deal with my complaining! My ex best friend (ERIN) - told me when I reached this ultimate pitfall in my relationship with Chris, "Kristina, I cannot be a GOOD FRIEND to you ALL THE TIME!". WOW!!! I thought, I never really needed her in that way and the summer I did, she responded with this. See I tend to lean on my friends A LOT! I love to be around people and this is sometimes seen as a flaw. In all honesty I had a great deal of FEAR surrounding me for years, there was a handful of things I did not fear, everything else I DID! I feared not being successful, ending up alone, not feeling loved, not feeling accepted; all these things weighed HEAVY on me FOR YEARS!! I had pushed all this weight on the people i held dear, ERIN and CHRIS and just about everyone else. Well, Erin could no longer take my ups and downs; I was literally DEPRESSED! I had reached this low and Erin said something to me that lit a FIRE under my booty! One day she called me miserable, she told me that I had these two sides to myself and one evil and one good and that she hoped the GOOD prevails. See I don't miss Erin, this is not me saying I screwed up, that was the UNIVERSE sending a fire signal through her DIRECTLY to ME! This happened in 2008 and that is when I began to re-evaluate my life. I know I AM NOT A MISERABLE PERSON! I was in a miserable stage in my life and did not know how to deal with it effectively. So I began an experiment - I decided to just toss myself at life and see where I fell and if I fell somewhere I did not like then I would just get up and bounce myself somewhere else. So that is what I did - I decided to go BACK TO GRAD SCHOOL for PSYCHOLOGY - I wanted to know why people think and do what they do. So I applied and I was accepted and in 2009 I started graduate school at Lehman College for School Counseling. My first semester marked a new beginning and an end to a 5 year long relationship with Chris. It hurt like hell but I had a bigger plan and it included LIVING FOR ME! Along with this new journey came a friend that I would not be where I am at this moment without her (Jennifer Tirado). Jenn found me BROKEN and Scattered, Open and Hollow inside but thirsty for knowledge and whatever came my way and JENN FILLED ME UP! She filled me with knowledge! That is all I really need - Thinker remember :) You just need to turn the wheels and they will start moving on there own :) I hope you enjoy my Blog and I hope you get to grasp a deeper understanding of my journey to ENLIGHTENMENT! I know I am enjoying the RIDE :) See you next post!!!

XOXO
DA FAB KRIS