THIS LOVE HAS TAKEN ALL OF MY ENERGY

I have so much on my mind. Literally on a bit of an overload so I wanted to jot it down.
I have so much on my mind. All I want is to end all this mental noise. I am such a planner, I literally plan on when to begin and estimate how long it will take me to grab my VICTORY at the finish line.

This week or shall I say these past few weeks have been a bit overwhelming. Something is in the air I tell you!

I have been thinking about Chris and it is really upsetting me. I am trying to force this man out of my thoughts, out of my heart and the more I resist the more he appears. My habit is resistance. Yesterday I had so much to say on this topic and yet today, not so much.

Moving on… this morning began extremely off track. I was so upset. I wish I could click my heels and be where I want to be. I do not like working hard, I can but I usually don’t. Things that come so natural to others seem to be so difficult for me to understand.

Like my passions. I have no idea what my passions are, at times I feel so blah and I am trying to find that energy source within myself so frequently that it may be right up in my face, yet I cannot see it.

MY MIND IS CLOGGED RIGHT NOW… BE BACK LATER…

DAFABKRIS
XOXO

Broken Heart to Renewed BEING !

What a wonderful day to wake up and Know that you are ALIVE!!

Today marks ONE YEAR of my breakup with Mr. Rivera. It has been filled with a world wind of emotions and Many Highs and Many LOWS. ALL in ALL I am thankful. I am so Thankful I could cry J My heart is healing, I am surrounded by some of the greatest people and personalities I have ever met. I cannot wait to see what is in store for me. My growth is noticeable and magnificent. When I see my reflection in the mirror it is one to be proud of; one to be admired. My words are ones that are powerful and worthy to be heard. I am WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR!!

I stand TALL AND STRONG. Filled with Smiles, filled with Knowledge, filled with Experience and the best part is filled with Love.

My HEART was once closed and NOW a BRIGHT light SHINES Through.
My LIFE was once filled with pain and sorrow and NOW it is filled with LOVE.
My MIND was once filled with negative thoughts and NOW it is open to an everlasting SUPREME REALITY… A reality that I am MANIFESTING.


ALL POWER IS NOW… ONLY NOW MATTERS à Most of all ONLY LOVE IS REAL !!

All the negativity that floats around in this world are illusions to keep us from REALITY and REALITY is NOW. You are LIVING and BREATHING IN REALITY …. NOW!!!!


PEACE AND LOVE!!!

XOXO
DAFABKRIS

Does GOD HAVE A PLAN – IS IT MISERY?

What the heck is my purpose in this life? I feel like a LOST SOUL! And No I didn’t intend on re–emphazing the title of my blog; this is exactly how I FEEL.
My life seems to go through major ups and downs. One minute I am flying high then I get HIT with BOMBS and DOWN I GO!

Major bombs of last week –

CHRIS --- Is anyone that reads my Blog remotely surprised that HE IS CONSTANTLY THE BOMB???

So basically – HE is HAVING A BABY!

I am not even going to touch on the back and forth we shared.

THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY… CHRIS is now IN LOVE! HAVING A BABY and the HAPPIEST HE HAS EVER BEEN….


THE END….

DAFABKRIS

Life is what you make of it

I have not been blogging as much as I should. I am having these back and forth feelings of my life... what to do with it. I know something great is waiting for me over the horizon. At times I get caught up with all this unimportant circumstances that seem to leap into my life but I need to treat these circumstances like insects and squash them. At times I get lonely, At times I get tired, but at the end of the DAY I NEED TO CONQUER AND DESTROY!!!


All the best!!! Bring in the positive light!!

XOXO
DAFABKRIS

Contiki Holidays - Winter Wanderer

Contiki Holidays - Winter Wanderer

Contiki Holidays - Winter Wanderer

Contiki Holidays - Winter Wanderer

THOUGHTS ARE POWERFUL

This week has been extremely stressful for me! I wanted to write in my blog but every time the words came to me I was on the train or walking, and by the time I got home all those wonderful thoughts slipped away. Of course this blog is going to focus on Chris. Let's see when my blogs don't :) My heart yearns for him and my mind is stuck on him. I watch the TUDORS SOOOO MUCH because it is one of the only things that actually keeps my mind off of him.

This is actually a FOLLOW UP TO THE ORIGINAL WRITING THAT I WILL LEAVE UP!

Since I last blogged, A whole lot has changed in ME :) For the better because progress is always KEY!
So I was applying for the TORRID HOUSE OF DREAMS CONTEST and one of my really great friends was in town (KIMMY); and Jenny Pooh was leaving in a few days so life was HECTIC. Kim and I went to Happy Endings in the L.E.S. to just celebrate her essence :) with a bunch of her friends which in turn became mine :) I got HELL OF DRUNK and I needed to run to TORRID on Sunday to submit my photos for the contest. What ended up happening was earlier that Saturday before I went out with Kim - I received a text message from CHRIS whom I have not heard from in about two months. He texted me mentioning he was passing by my building and thought of me. MEN !!!
I cried and got wasted.
Sunday, Jenn came over to help me take some photos for another contest as well as accompany me to Torrid in White Plains. Chris works in the TARGET there and I just didn't want to go there alone. So off I went, HUNG OVER!!! What ended up happening was while I was in Target looking for a portfolio for my photos I bumped into an old college friend and we chatted for a while. I thought of contacting Chris to see him but I did not, I decided to leave it to FATE! Right before I decided to leave Target I was feeling that nauseated feeling in my belly so I stopped to go to the restroom.
As FATE would have it as I was walking out of the bathroom looking for Jenn so we could leave CHRIS is turning one corner and we literally and I AM DEAD SERIOUS... BUMPED INTO EACH OTHER!!! MY HEART POUNDED LIKE IT NEVER POUNDED BEFORE!!!
Isn't it CRAZY how the Universe works??

Chris acted like a TOTAL JERK at first said hello and then as we parted ways he was walking in the same direction to leave of course and he caught up to me and we began to chat. I hadn't realized how STRONG I HAVE BECOME IN THESE PAST FEW MONTHS!!! THIS WAS THE TEST !!! I PASSED WITH FLYING COLORS!!

Chris basically started to flirt with me and eventually we began talking. 2 DAYS LATER... I was lying in my bed just thinking about the chain of events and my lips began to reach toward ears in this releasing SMILE... This smile of gratitude and My heart felt light as if a weight had been lifted.

I have come to realize that 1. I love CHRIS... but HE WILL NOT CHANGE... he is with someone else trying to still flirt with me (basically get in my pantes again!!!) I deserve better.. and it wasn't me...
2. I don't NEED HIM! I love me more and who wants to end up with someone that you can't TRUST.

I told him in one of our emails that I have set him FREE and That we are where we belong as FRIENDS. His Response: " You know that is NOT WHERE WE BELONG!"

So my question is where do we belong ... it seems like an out of sight out of mind thing... I can honestly SAY and WRITE This... I am FINALLY OVER IT... I have let go of the PAIN AND NOW I am moving on with my JOURNEY TO THE NEXT ACCOMPLISHMENT...

GRADUATE SCHOOL... COLUMBIA AND BARUCH.... WHICH ONE WILL IT BE??!!!!

XOXO
DAFABKRIS